Home (sweet?) home: End of an era

We've been home a week now and it feels odd. Its an extremely odd feeling/ mixture of emotions.

The first few days were great, actually a lot less depressing than I had expected. I found myself taking mental notes of all the novel little things, things I'd never noticed before but was suddenly acutely aware of and experiencing through a fresh pair of eyes. First and foremost, I found the concept of flushing toilet paper down the toilet and not putting it in a bin, ridiculous. For about 3 days after we returned, I had to constantly fight the urge to bin the paper and kept worrying I would block the drain/ kept imagining where the toilet roll must be ending up.

Another thing I noticed more was flies. I found myself more interested in them, more aware, more wanting to avoid them/ squat them. I had never had this relationship with flies prior to our trip.

Other little things that took some getting used to included not using foreign phrases to say please and thank you, and not having to accept/ give things with my left hand (as is done in Asia). I seemed to be more aware of strange noises such as lawnmowers and helicopters in the sky and I liked being able to drink tap water again, although I was hesitant and cautious at first (ironically, having gone 10 months around the world and travelled through some of the world's poorest countries without ever having to go a day without a shower, the day I got home, the water in our neighbourhood was off and I had to skip my shower and brush my teeth with bottled water!). One final thing that I found novel for a few days, was being be able to sit with the soles of my feet pointing upward and it not be considered rude/ an insult.

But now its been a week, and all of these novelties have more or less worn off, and what I'm left with is a sort of fear and realisation that its back to the real world. Its only just hit me tonight, as I attempted to pack a holdall for a weekend away and struggled (!) doing so, what an achievement the past 10 months have been. I think I have been blocking it out for the past week, not looking at any pictures or allowing myself to contemplate what has been and is no more. It's only just hit me that its over. We planned it for two years, it came, and now its over. We're not just having a rest at home and then getting out our shells (rucksacks) again to re-pack them. Nobody will ask us how long we've been away for and we will no longer proudly reply '10 months'. We wont do laundry, struggle with zipping up our bags, fumble with currency or check tripadvisor. I wont steal tooth brushes, spray mossie guard, take malaria tablets or wee in a squat. Its officially over and now the question is: what next?